Life Transitions Women Don’t Talk About Enough

Life transitions for women have often been met with stigma and shame. When I think about the life transitions women don’t talk about enough, I’m reminded of my earliest memory of experiencing one myself.

In elementary school, all the girls were gathered into a classroom to learn about periods and menstrual products. I remember the days leading up to it being filled with secrecy. A teacher told us we were not to speak about this “special meeting” outside of those four walls. We were ushered into a stuffy room and handed what felt like forbidden knowledge. The boys, gleefully unaware, were rewarded with extra recess.

I don’t remember whether the boys ever had a similar meeting to learn about how their bodies would change. If I had to guess, they probably did not. That moment was my first experience with a major life transition, and it was wrapped in silence. I imagine many women have similar memories. Learning about their own bodies in whispers, in secrecy, or sometimes not at all.

It raises an important question: if the foundation of our understanding of life transitions is rooted in shame, how are women ever supposed to feel comfortable talking about the transitions that follow?

Life transitions are not limited to physical changes. They also include the loss of a former self, shifts in identity, and the uncertainty of who we are becoming. Topics many women do not speak about openly enough.

The loss of a former self can carry real grief. There is who we were before, who we are after, and in the between space of becoming. That middle space is shaped by education, youth, trauma, friendship, motherhood, career changes, relationships, and countless other experiences. It can bring confusion, sadness, anger, and even joy. Although former versions of ourselves may no longer exist physically, they still live in the body. They inform who we are now. There is space to honor all versions of ourselves. The before, the becoming, and the after.

Identity itself is ever-evolving. While that can feel frightening, it is also beautiful. There is no shame in admitting that an identity that once fit no longer does. Growth requires release.

Exploring identity can be like finding a new pair of jeans. Anyone who has tried on jeans knows how frustrating that process can be. Some are completely wrong. Too tight in the thighs, too loose at the waist, uncomfortable when sitting. Some are tolerable but never quite right. And then there are the rare pairs that fit perfectly. But as we grow and change, even the perfect pair may no longer fit and that’s okay. The process of redefining identity is frustrating, confusing, and deeply rewarding, just like finding the right fit.

Another common source of fear during life transitions is the uncertainty of who we might become. Women were born into systems that were not designed with them in mind, and that reality shapes both personal and collective anxieties about the future. The fear is not only individual. It is social and political.

Yet fear can also be a sign of growth. To question who you are becoming means you are already engaged in the work. The truth is, the work of becoming is never finished. It is an ongoing process. There is beauty in taking small steps toward the version of yourself you are still discovering.

Life transitions are not easy. They are especially difficult when there is no space to express their impact. In honoring International Women’s Day, we can acknowledge the transitions many women experience in isolation. The silent grief, the identity shifts, the uncertainty, the becoming.

These conversations do not have to remain secret. They do not have to happen behind closed doors. Wrestling with change is part of being human. And no woman should have to navigate it alone. At Bodhi, these conversations are not only allowed but also encouraged.