A Social Media Reset
- David McDaniel, LCSW
- Nov 19
- 4 min read
Your Feed Affects Your Mood
Our relationship with social media is complicated. It’s a great tool for connection, a source of inspiration, and a quick way to find information. It can also be an energy drain, a source of anxiety, and a relentless comparison machine. Like too much junk food, it eventually leaves you feeling weighed down and a little nauseous.
If you’ve scrolled through endless posts only to feel a twinge of inadequacy about your normal, messy life… if you’ve swiped through headlines and felt waves of hopelessness… if you’ve lost sleep staring at the blue light of your cellphone screen… you’re not alone.
I’m not here to tell you to delete every app and live like a hermit. Instead, we need boundaries and a strategy about what we let into our minds.
The Dangers of Doomscrolling
Do you fill your house with garbage and scary pictures? Why let social media do that to your mind?
Not to overstate the obvious, but one of the most destructive activities we can engage in is doomscrolling, a compulsive consumption of negative and stressful news. The foundation of doomscrolling is grounded in our negativity bias1, an evolutionary trait causing our brains to prioritize negative information because it was historically vital for survival (“Sabre-toothed tigers on the roam!”)
But a constant fixation on today’s sabre-toothed tigers – global crises, heated political debates, or tragic world events – just leaves you feeling anxious, helpless, and despairing about things you can’t control. Sure, you’re staying informed, but you're also reinforcing a cycle that exhausts your brain and body.
To break the cycle, acknowledge the inherent negativity bias and deliberately schedule your intake of toxic garbage… I mean, news. For example, give yourself a fifteen-minute window each day to check one or two reliable, objective sources. Then, put your phone away and focus on the immediate and positive things around you.
Escaping the Comparison Trap
The social media comparison trap is insidious and inherently unfair. It invites you to compare your normal, real-life experiences to someone else’s idealized and carefully edited highlight reel.
While it helps to remember that social media shows an unrealistic standard, the real secret is to change your internal response when comparison starts. This is based on Social Comparison Theory2. Next time a post makes you feel inadequate (like a friend's “perfect” wedding), try this simple two-step thought process.
Acknowledge their success: "I’m genuinely happy for them..." Then, pivot to your own gratitude: "...And I’m grateful for [something you value in your life]." This diffuses the negative energy of envy by making an honest acknowledgment. Then, it immediately redirects your focus and trains your brain to find contentment in your own circumstances.
For example, instead of spiraling, you might think. "I’m happy for their new house, and I’m grateful for the cozy familiarity of my current home." This practice quickly stops negative self-talk and shifts your focus back to what you have.
A Gentle Digital Detox
Detoxing sounds grueling, like a week with no coffee (or is that just me?). For most people, a digital detox is unrealistic and largely unnecessary. However, a gentle detox from negative influences is far more powerful because it focuses on building sustainable habits, not just temporary abstinence. Don’t try to quit cold turkey. Instead, think about implementing speedbumps and no-phone zones.
A speedbump is a deliberate hurdle you place between yourself and addictive apps. Try deleting all your social media icons from your phone’s home screen and leave them in the apps list. If you have to search for them, you’re less likely to open them when boredom strikes. This interruption is key because compulsive scrolling is often driven by a psychological habit loop, reinforced by tiny releases of dopamine that reward the brain for checking the app.
Similarly, a no phone zone is time reserved for anything but scrolling. For example, the first 30 minutes and the last hour of your day, just before bed, could be times to read a real book printed on paper, play with your pet, or just go outside and breathe. Even a small shift helps you start and end the day focused on your reality, not some influencer’s fantasy (or fake news hellscape).
Curate Your Own Positive Feed
Social media isn’t an obligation you have to suffer through. It’s a personalized “magazine” and you’re the editor-in-chief. If you get bored or annoyed reading a magazine, you put it down, right? Similarly, if you feel annoyed or powerless after checking certain accounts, that’s a clear signal the content isn’t serving your mental well-being. Studies show that intentionally limiting or curating your feed can lead to significant reductions in anxiety and depressive symptoms3.
Be the editor-in-chief of your feed. Ask yourself honestly, "Do I need this?" Unfollow toxic content and echo chamber accounts. If an acquaintance or relative's posts disrupt your peace, remember that unfollowing is acceptable, and muting is a private way to preserve both your social ties and your mental well-being.
After that, replace those digital distractions with accounts that lift you up, make you laugh, or teach you something useful. Fill your digital “magazine” with people who inspire curiosity and appreciation, rather than envy and outrage.
A social media reset isn't just about what you avoid, it's also about what you choose to value and focus on. A mindful approach ensures your online time builds your well-being, and replaces hopelessness with resilience. The therapists at Bodhi Counseling can help you through the process of trading online noise for real-life clarity and peace of mind.
References
[1] Price, M., et al. (2020). Correlates of Problematic COVID-19-Related Media Exposure: The Roles of Pre-Existing Vulnerability and Coping Strategies. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy.
[2] Festinger, L. (1954). A Theory of Social Comparison Processes. Human Relations.
[3] Hunt, M. G., et al. (2018). No More FOMO: Limiting Social Media Decreases Loneliness and Depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology
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