A Very Un-Holiday Holiday: Celebrating Differently (or Not At All)
- David McDaniel, LCSW
- 3 hours ago
- 3 min read
Hear it? That low, tinkling sound that grows deafening by late-December... the holiday season. Crackling fireplaces, sparkling gifts, bustling family gatherings, and twinkling lights flood our screens and brains. For the happy people on TV, it’s a time of joy, connection, and cherished traditions.
But in the real world, what if it isn’t? What if the very thought of the traditional holiday machine fills you with anxiety, sadness, or a profound sense of "nope"?
You aren’t alone. You aren’t a Grinch. Maybe it’s time for you to find something more rewarding than untangling last year’s holiday lights. Maybe it’s time to embrace an "un-holiday" holiday.
See if one of these sounds a little too familiar.
Families Are Complicated: Intrusive relatives, political debates, or painful memories turn traditional gatherings into a game of hide-and-seek with all your childhood traumas.
Financial Strain is Real: The relentless pressure to spend, gift, and entertain turns supposed joy into acute financial stress.
Energy Levels Are Low: For introverts, those with chronic illnesses, or anyone simply feeling drained, holiday social demands can be utterly overwhelming.
Grief is Present: For those navigating loss, forced holiday cheerfulness can inspire the exact opposite emotions... isolation and deep pain.
Tradition Doesn't Resonate: If you've moved beyond the traditions of your upbringing, or they never felt authentic in the first place, the pressure to participate feels fake and inauthentic.
You Don't F@*%!g Want To: That's reason enough. Really. It is.
Toss the Hallmark Channel script. What makes you feel good? Peace and quiet? Adventure? Creativity? Netflix binge with the cat? What if you...
Go Outside
Travel Solo: A city where you don’t know anyone. Museums. New cuisine. The freedom of anonymity.
Nature's Embrace: National parks. Hiking trails. Cozy AirBNBs in the woods. Unplug and reconnect with nature and quiet, restorative solitude.
Beach Bliss: Go south! A warm beach holiday. Sand instead of snow. Tanning instead of tinsel. Embark on a resort reset.
Stay Inside
The Ultimate Self-Care Day (or Week): A marathon of your favorite movies. An unread stack of books. Long, long baths. Cooking your favorite comfort foods (or ordering takeout!). Sleeping late. No schedules. No obligations.
Deep Dive into a Hobby: Use this time to immerse yourself in new or old interests such as painting, writing, coding, gaming, crafting, or learning new languages.
Personal Retreat: Turn your home into a sanctuary. Light candles. Calming music. Meditation and journaling. Focus on inner peace rather than external stimulation.
Do Something Different
Chosen Family Potluck: Opting out of traditional celebrations doesn't mean opting out of connection altogether. Gather a small group of like-minded friends. Embrace genuine connection, good food, silly games, and shared laughter. Absolutely no forced cheer.
Volunteer Your Time: Spend a day at a soup kitchen. Take toys, doggy bones, and catnip to the animal shelter. Shifting focus from personal consumption to communal contribution can be a powerful way to spend the holidays.
Meaningful Check-ins: Instead of a large gathering, schedule a few group virtual calls, or coffee dates with people you really want to connect with.
You Have the Freedom to Choose
You don’t have to offer explanations or apologies for your choices. "Thanks for the invitation, but I'll be celebrating differently this year," is perfectly sufficient. "I need some quiet time to recharge," or "I've made other plans that work better for me," are also valid. Your time and energy are finite, and you get to decide how to spend them.
The "un-holiday" holiday isn't about being anti-festivity. It's about recognizing that happiness isn't a one-size-fits-all experience, especially during a time often laden with external pressures. It's about crafting a “holiday” that genuinely nourishes your soul. Celebrating differently – or not at all – can be the most joyful and authentic experience of all.
Need some un-holiday support, or help surrounding yourself with all that un-cheer and un-festivities? Contact us and schedule a free consultation with one of our clinicians.